Little & Big Preemie Milestones that Call for Celebration
I’m a sucker for cheese. Not like, actual cheese (though I am from Wisconsin, so that is kind of a given). I mean, cheesy Hallmark, slightly cringy moments that make you cry and laugh and snort all at the same time. I love me a dog dressed like it’s owners. I love me some matching family jammies, especially when they are on a Christmas card. And of course, when it comes to kiddos, how can you NOT love the ‘1 month old, 2 month old’ milestone blankets, shirts, signs that us Millennial mamas see gracing our Instagram accounts on the regular from our very proud mama friends, posting and boasting on what their little one likes, dislikes, and is like at however many months old. As cheesy as it may be to do it, I look forward to doing the same each and every month. Hey - each month is absolutely a milestone and something to celebrate!
And when you are preemie mom, the good news is, there are so many milestones that happen before and in between the ‘X many months old’ markers. There are milestones to celebrate in and out of the NICU, but this post will focus on the ones that can and should be documented and celebrated while in the NICU. So if you are old school, grab your NICU journal or baby book and write these down when they happen. Or if you are into the digital age, make sure you grab your phone and take some pics of these very amazing little and big preemie Milestones you may experience while in the NICU:
1) First Diaper - If you are a preemie mama for the first time, chances are that you are floored that they make diapers that small. They are the darn cutest little Huggies and Pampers you will ever see. Not only should you take a pic of your baby’s diaper next to a recognizable object (to show it’s scale and small size), but ask a nurse if you can take a few home - and make sure to keep them! You will want to put it in a scrap book and keep it somewhere to show family and friends, as well as to show your little one when they are not so little anymore.
2) Off the Vent - Depending on how early your little preemie came, there is a good chance that he or she needs some respiratory support. For both of mine, this meant a ventilator. Whether it is ventilator, or CPAP, or any other type of breathing help, it is a HUGE relief when the day comes that your baby can get off of that type of support. Cheers to your rockstar - you need to document and celebrate the heck out of it when it happens.
3) First Bath - I have to imagine the first bath is a big deal and kind of scary even for parents with term babies that get to do this in the privacy of their home. But in the NICU, it is so exciting because it’s another opportunity to bond with your baby and comfort them. Usually, the nurse will get a large ‘heater’ or a ‘hot lamp’ type of thing, to put over the bath so your baby can stay warm. You then will get to assist in gently washing your baby and getting him or her nice and clean. I had an awesome nurse that also got my second son some lotion so I could rub lotion on him after too. A bath may be very basic and simple - but it is cause for celebration when you have a preemie.
4) First Time Holding - This is an emotional moment. I’ve written about it in another blog post, but many times, preemie mamas do not get to hold their baby right after giving birth the way they show it in the movies or on the TV commercials. It can be days, maybe even a week or longer, before your preemie is stable enough to be able to hold. Make sure to have your spouse, a nurse, or someone nearby video record you holding your baby for the first time. There will likely be a nurse and respiratory therapist helping get your baby situated on your chest, and they will ask you how long you plan to hold for. Keep in mind, mama, that though you may wish to hold your baby for hours on end, your baby will ultimately tell you (through their vitals on the monitor) what they can tolerate and when it may be time to put them back. Be patient, and soak up every single second that you get to bond with your baby that is still supposed to be in your belly!
5) First Time Wearing A Onesie - Want to know what’s cuter than a baby wearing a onesie? A PREEMIE WEARING A ONESIE. How they make clothing that small is beyond me, and seeing your little 2, 3, 4 lb blessing in an outfit for the first time makes your baby seem so much more ‘real’, for lack of better way to state it. It may take some time before you see your baby dressed in clothes - and that is okay. I’ll never forget the day for both of my kiddos, when I walked into the NICU and saw them in a onesie for the first time. I was SO freaking excited - and you will be too! Don’t want to invest in preemie clothes? That is totally okay - the NICU has clothes that they will dress your baby in. If you do however want to buy some of your own clothes, that works too. You will be able to keep them at your baby’s bedside and the nurses will put the dirty clothes in a bag for you to take home and wash. A heads up - I would not buy ‘too’ many preemie clothes, given how fast they grow out of them and into newborn clothes!
6) First Smile - I don’t care what anyone says, both of my preemies smiled while they were in the NICU. No idea if this is medically possible - but please trust me, as a mama, I know the difference between ‘it’s just gas’ and ‘my kiddo smiled because he is happy.’ And I’m telling you, the first time you see your preemie smile which can and may likely happen in the NICU, you will want to document it. If you are lucky, grab your phone and take pics!
7) Graduating to Open Air Isolette - This is a BIG milestone! When your baby graduates from a closed isolette, to an open aired isolette, this means there are certain medical milestones that your baby has been able to surpass in order to be stable in the open. I am not medically trained, so please talk to your nurse on what those medical/vitals are that need to happen before your baby goes into an open air isolette; but I’m sure that one of them is your baby can regulate their body temperature. Give yourself a pat on the back, mama - when you see this milestone, your baby is headed in the right direction!
8) First Time Trying Bottle - 3 words that are music to any NICU mama’s ears - Suck, Swallow, Breathe. In that order. This is not as easy as it sounds, and it must be done in that order to avoid aspirating and other complications. This is the part of the NICU journey that can take the longest. Because not only does your little man or little lady need to suck, swallow, and breathe - they need to gain enough stamina and energy to do so consistently, and for their full feed, in order for them to come home. The very first time you are trying a bottle with your baby, there will be a speech therapist or nurse with you to help guide you through it. Preemies need to be fed carefully, and differently, than what you see with a term, healthy baby. You will learn in no-time, and you will go off your kiddo’s queues. When you are trying it for the first time, make sure your nurse gets many pictures of you - candid and posed - because this is a BIG DEAL!
9) Passed the Car Seat Test - Never have I ever been so anxious, then knowing the end was near (with my boys NICU stays), yet knowing they must pass the car seat test without alarms in order to be considered to go home. My second kiddo failed the first time and I was like ‘SERIOUSLY?!’, but it’s okay if that happens. You’d rather have your baby come home and you feel confident they are ready, versus rushing them if really they are not. When your baby passes the car seat test, you can feel good about the end being in sight!
10) NICU Graduation Day - Perhaps the biggest, most proud milestone that needs a huge celebration, is the day your baby gets to graduate from the NICU. Pictures, pictures and more pictures need to capture this momentous event, not only for your baby, but for you and your significant other. Many NICUs have graduation caps (sometimes knitted by volunteers, and they are so cute!), and for sure will have graduation certificates. Take these Momentos and keep somewhere safe. You will be able to show your little one when they are older, and you will be able to look back and say boy, we made it and we made it through a LOT.
What are some other milestones that you have celebrated and think other preemie and NICU mama’s need to remember? Please leave a comment and would love to hear your thoughts! For now, cheers to all of you NICU and preemie mamas - I celebrate you and your strength!
